


Second Chances

by Blue_Eyes_and_Auburn_Hair



Category: Chris Evans (actor) - Fandom, Real Person Fiction, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Actor Chris Evans, Avengers Family, F/M, Military, Military Backstory, RPF, Real Life
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-29
Updated: 2020-03-29
Packaged: 2021-02-23 11:16:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,958
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23377198
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Blue_Eyes_and_Auburn_Hair/pseuds/Blue_Eyes_and_Auburn_Hair
Summary: Can you imagine being widowed at such a young age to a man you thought you’d have forever with? On the anniversary of his death, on top of a mountain, Thea and Chris begin their new journey together.
Relationships: Chris Evans (Actor) & Original Female Character(s), Chris Evans (Actor)/Original Female Character(s)
Kudos: 19





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: Okay, I got more notes than I thought I ever would, so while the world is quarantined…I wrote another part.
> 
> Warning: Mention of death, fluff, I don’t want to mislead anyone this will very much be a slow-burn

Don’t you wish you could know a certain event was going to change your life before it happened? Like the universe would give you a heads up or a big flag telling you to “take a deep breath because, after this, nothing will be the same.”

If that were the case, the universe would have notified me eight years ago while having a picnic on a second date. It would have also notified me a few minutes ago as I sat on this same mountain alone, honoring an anniversary.

“I did it, Jameson,” I announced as I finally sat down on a protruding rock on the side of the mountain. Staring out into the greenery below touching the rim of the Hudson River, I finally took the first deep breath I had been holding for years. The memories of that date swarmed my senses and I remember the taste of the strawberries, the smell of the fresh air, the touch of your hand holding mine for the first time. The smile on your face as you poked fun at me for bringing a knife on our hike and insisting that I had no idea how to use it. The day I kind of knew I could spend forever with you.

“A little over 8 years ago, we sat in this very spot and you held my hand for the first time. I didn’t think this was how our story was going to unfold. I am just tired of feeling weak, vulnerable and guilty. I just want you to know that I am okay. I love and miss you with every fiber of my being but I know you wouldn’t want that. You would try and make me laugh to let me know that it is okay and that you are okay. I just need a sign bub.” I let go of the second deep breath I had been holding for three years.

Out of nowhere, I could hear yelling coming from below me. Someone yelling out a name over and over again. I didn’t have much time to think before four paws greeted me. A sweet lick to the nose and a nod towards the berries that were in my lap.

“Where did you come from sweetheart?” I asked the pup that was still eyeing my small picnic.

“Dodger! Dodger! Come here, boy!” I could finally make out the words that were coming around the corner. The dog takes off and runs to meet the voice.

Being a creature of habit I, of course, take out my knife from my bag. I had seen enough crime shows to know to expect anything, especially for a female hiking a mountain by herself.

The pup had once again made his way back to me followed by the man now holding him on a leash. We make eye contact and then his eyes wander to my hand and slowly steps back to make me more comfortable with his own hands raised.

“Whoa whoa whoa ma’am! We are all good here! Just friends! You can put that away I promise…do you even know how to use that thing?” He laughs with a big smile trying to break the tension.

I slowly turned around to put the knife in my bag again, not because the stranger told me to but because of his comment. Implying that I didn’t know how to use it, for the second time in this very spot. I take the third deep breath I had been holding in and look up to the clouds and whisper,

_“Thanks for the sign bub.”_


	2. Chapter 2

I could feel some of the weight on my shoulders disappear as those words left my mouth. I stopped believing in fate and destiny a long time ago, but it felt as though everything was clicking into place. The reassurance from a stranger and his pup seemed to give me the peace of mind that I needed. I am not naive though and have been taught to question everything, but at that moment I truly wanted to believe that this was real. 

I slowly turned forward, with a blank slate in front of me, to a man in a Red Sox ball cap and a pair of glasses. “I would apologize for having it, but honestly I think society should be apologizing to all females that believe they need to carry something to protect themselves when alone.” I honestly don’t know why I said that maybe the SVU marathon that was on last night or simply the need to start having this conversation in a time when many would prefer to ignore the issue. 

But now I am probably coming off as a hostile jerk talking to herself on a mountain.

“Ma’am once again all good, no need to apologize, I have two sisters I totally understand. I am just kind of grateful you didn’t have pepper spray in the bag… that shit burns.” He laughs, for the second time trying to ease the conversation, I don’t even think he knows he is doing it. 

I laugh myself with a smile on my face as I squat down reaching into my backpack. “Well Dodger, I don’t think your pops is a fan of you having some berries, but I do think I have something in here for you.” I find that bag of peanut butter Milk-Bone I usually keep for Kodi when we go for our walks. 

I stay squatted and make eyes at Dodger and his human to see if it is okay to give him a treat. He nods and Dodgers waddles over to me and graciously accepts the treats while laying down for a nice belly rub. 

“My pup is in love with all things peanut butter, so I always keep a bag on me.” I laugh again as the man makes his way over to Dodger and me. 

“Well, Dodger is never one to turn down a sweet treat or making a new friend laugh.”

At this point, I stand up and wipe my hands off on my leggings, “I am Thea by the way, it’s nice to meet you and your sweet boy.” 

He shakes my hand and introduces himself as Chris, which I of course already sort of knew, but I wanted to keep this organic and real. 

“You guys are more than welcome to join me, the sun should be setting…” I look down at my watch “in about a half hour and you do not want to miss all the colors, especially when you have the best seat in the house.”

I sit down again and continue to scratch Dodger’s head and offer him another treat for being so friendly. 

“Now how can we pass up an offer like that? What do you say boy do you want to watch a sunset?” I think Dodger’s kisses all over Chris’s face answer that question.

We drift into a comfortable silence, listening to the nature around us and enjoying each other’s company. I have never been one to be so forward with a guy before, I am very much shy, quiet girl. Typically that’s because I become overly anxious, which is apparent by my Irish skin betraying me making my face flush crimson. I know most people find it cute and sweet but as a twenty-something year old, you do not want to be referred to as cute. or. sweet. 

Once again not reading into anything here, maybe I am simply relaxed because I have truly started to let go and move forward with my life…or its the baseball cap on my head that is shielding part of my face. 

“So how did you stumble upon the best seat in the house anyway?” Chris asked being the first to break the silence. 

“I went to college around here and found this trail in my junior year. I try and make my way back here every year, so many memories I’d like to hold on to.” I cautiously say not trying to overshare, but still being true and honest. 

“Did you go to West Point?” He pointed to my cap and to the school you can see just past Constitution Island in the distance. 

“Oh no, I don’t think I could have survived that place. I don’t think I would have done well at a military academy.” I smiled at him but my chest tightened ever so slightly. “I went to school about 15 miles north,” I said pointing over my shoulder. 

“I am doing a presentation, I think that’s what they are calling it, on campus tomorrow morning” I twirl the claddagh ring that hangs from a chain on my neck. We both sit there silently for a few minutes, there are so many questions I want to ask him and I can tell he feels the same way. He keeps opening his mouth to say something and quickly closing it. I can feel my Jamie laughing at me like, “You are sitting in our spot, today of all days, with Chris Evans and you’re just not going to talk about me? That’s just rude beautiful.” He would laugh calling me a dork, bump my shoulder and tell me to live in the moment and to just breathe. 

“I’m sure the cadets will be extremely excited to see you! I can only imagine the guy on gate duty seeing you pull up tomorrow, you’ll definitely make his day. My husband said that was the worst gig, especially over the weekend.” 

“Your husband graduated from there?” He says while turning his head to look at the sky slowly change color. 

“Mhmmm, almost seven years ago. Crazy how fast time flies when you aren’t sleep deprived and writing papers” I giggly thinking back to all those late nights while watching the sun slowly creep towards the horizon. 

“Well please thank him for his service and thank you as well” he finally says after a few minutes taking off his glasses and truly looking at me.

“Thank you for your support” I smile at him and quickly look away to watch the sun officially set, another day done. 

I stand up slowly and look through my backpack. “Chris, can you do me a favor?” I ask trying to keep my voice calm and swallow the dryness in my throat. 

I pass him my phone, “Can you take a video of this for me?”

He seems confused but stands as well and takes the phone from my hand. He sees the look on my face and responds with a look of concern. I give him a broken smile and ask him to press play. I pull out the lantern that my mom bought for me and then with shaking hands I take out a lighter and ignite the lantern. I hold it in my hands and quietly whisper the words that were so beautifully written on it. Letting go it slowly drifts into the sky taking with it another year of memories.

_From New York with Love,  
Three Years of Missing You, Forever to Go_


	3. Chapter 3

Staring up at the sky, watching the lantern follow a path across the stars while taking a piece of me with it. People say it gets easier, but that really has not been the case. Each morning I wake up and my mind slowly drifts to memories that I try and keep locked away and each night the nightmares and terrors of the aftermath play like a reel. I don’t fight them though, I think when they finally stop, it will hurt more. My therapist obviously disagrees with me and we have been working on this but, I am just not ready. My ability to compartmentalize is scary and unhealthy but its been working for the last three years. It is harder to keep the emotions in check on days when you feel like you are being smothered. The phone calls, the text, the Facebook posts and tags from both our family and friends. All of that is sweet and supportive and great, but too much. Another reason I like coming out here and sitting on our mountain looking out at the world. 

I slowly turn around and watch as Chris is still watching the lantern on its journey, he makes eye contact and I force a half-smile. I see Dodger with his head down whimpering a bit, unaware of the circumstances but very much cued in to the emotions that surround him. 

He returns the smile but it does not reach his eyes. 

“Afghanistan, three years ago today,” I shrug not wanting to go any deeper, that’s enough of my past for one day. “That’s a story for another time preferable over some beers and a few shots,” another joke to cut the thick fog that surrounds us. Chris makes a move to reassure me, obviously feeling helpless at this moment. Dodger quickly gets up and sits down between Chris and I. He is facing Chris, watching his movements as though ready to defend me. I rub the top of his head letting him know that I am okay and so is the situation. “I’m okay boy, your pops was just trying to help,” I continue to stroke his head and then look up at Chris’ dumbstruck facial expression. “I…I have never seen him do something like that” he softly mumbled to himself and continues to look at me now with almost an expression of awestruck. 

“That was beautiful, genuinely beautiful, is there anything else you need to do?” I gently shake my head not making eye contact the mixture of gratitude and shame is swirling. I feel the tears and thickness in my throat return and shake that off as well. 

“We should start to head back then, it’s going to get dark and Dodger is such a baby in the dark,” He chuckles rolling his eyes. 

It was only about a fifteen-minute walk back to the car, but he was right, the twilight sky would only last for so long. Packing up my bag and making sure that I had everything, I met the boys at the start of the trail. 

“I am sorry if your hike took an unexpected turn,” I shyly shrug my shoulders “I feel like I owe you a beer or at least a meal to make up for that, I am usually not this grim of a person” I state trying to convince him and myself. 

“Not a chance,” he says while reaching down to pull the twig out of Dodger’s mouth. 

“I get it and I am sure you have to be up early tomorrow for your presentation and all,” I try not to sound as defeated as I feel. 

“I meant, no chance that you owe me anything. It’s absolutely my treat, do you know of any good places around here?” I tried to read his face, looking for pity, but all I could see was compassion. 

“There’s a nice pub a few miles away, small and simple,” trying to accommodate for him I also mention that there is patio seating that should fit Dodger’s fancy. 

We reach our cars at the same time that Chris announces that he is sold on the idea and says that he will follow me. The emotions of all of this finally set in when I sat in my car. I had not felt anxious or nervous throughout our entire time together until the moment I was away from him. I pushed all of that, for the most part, away and tried to drive perfectly towards the pub. Chris turned in the parking lot after me and got out and put the lease on Dodger again. I finally saw my reflection for the first time in hours and cleaned up the tears stains that still traced my skin. 

“I am not gonna lie, I honestly thought you were gonna keep driving when I pulled in here” I finally announce when I make my way over to his truck. 

“Well now I am wounded Thea, wounded,” he states while dramatically placing his hands over his chest. 

“It’ll buff out, I’m sure,” I say while bumping his shoulder and heading towards the door, I can hear him chuckling behind me. 

I head inside and ask the bartender if there was room on the patio for us to sit and order some food and drinks. She says, of course, hands me two menus and says someone would meet us outside shortly. 

I meet Chris back outside and he’s already made himself and Dodger comfy at a table. As I head over he gets up and pulls out the chair for me, which I know people roll their eyes at but I get a case of the butterflies every single time. 

After some time an older woman makes her way over to us to take our order, Chris takes my suggestion on the burger and laughs when I get carded for ordering a beer. I roll my eyes and feel the blush creep across my cheeks. I dish it right back though and ask him when was the last time he even got carded, the squinting glare answered that question. The tension and awkwardness left and we slipped into casual conversation. 

I think we talked for 2 hours straight. 

We talked about everything and anything, it was so pure and real. My stomach started to hurt 45 minutes in from laughing so hard. “God, can you imagine growing up an only child or growing up differently than you did?” Chris asked me at one point, he was telling a story about his brother and neighbor daring him to jump from a roof onto a trampoline into a pool. He was proud to announce that he completely chicken out and thinks about how his life might be a little different if he followed through with it. 

“My brother and sisters probably used to pray to be only children growing up, but I honestly couldn’t imagine it any other way. I never take for granted how close-knit we are and I continue to be thankful.” He continued to smile at me and stare at my face, which was sweet but also a bit concerning. 

I whip at my face trying to see if I had something on it and ask him, “What? Do I have ketchup on my cheek or something?” He responds by rolling his eyes for the 39th time in the last few hours. 

“Roll your eyes at me again! I dare you!” He scuffs and goes to roll his eyes again but stops halfway and just starts laughing. 

“I just, I don’t want this to sound weird and freak you out.” He starts to rambles and it was cute but my god he was going to drive me crazy if he kept it up. I reach across the table and give his hand a squeeze in a comforting way. 

“I just, I feel like I’ve known you my whole life” he looks down at his phone “when in reality it’s only been four hours. I know that sounds crazy because I don’t even know what you do for a living, but I feel like I already know ‘who you are’ if that makes any bit of sense. I am just having a tough time believing you are real.”

It absolutely did. It made complete sense and it scared me, but it also gave me another case of butterflies.

“I’m a teacher.” I took the easy way out not toughing the other topic just yet. 

How does Chris respond? He rolled his god damn eyes again. With a retort of “Of course you are, why wouldn’t you be a teacher.” 

“That’s it, Dodger, come here and take your human away from me!” I shout at the sweet boy just trying to take a nap. “Dodger that is the 40th time he has rolled his eyes at me, you need to take him home and teach him some manners please!” I huff sitting back into my chair and watching Chris explode with laughter. 

“You are absolutely insane, I don’t think I have laughed this hard, for this long, in months. I am going to have a set of abs by the time this night is through.” Now it was my turn to roll my eyes at him. 

“So what do you teach?” He finally asked me after his waves of laughter have turned into small chuckles. 

“I am a middle school special education teacher” I state proudly. I truly love and respect what I do for a living and wouldn’t change it for the world. 

Chris is just defeated by this point and just places his head in his hands shaking it back and forth. “You are really not helping prove that you are actually real” he mumbles into his hands. 

“Says the famous actor I met while hiking a mountain and inviting me to dinner, I left the realm of reality hours ago” I smirk back at him when he finally pulls his face out of his hands. 

The waitress walks over and asks if we need anything else. Chris holds up one finger to me seeing if I’m game for another round. “One more round please and two more glasses of water,” I ask while smirking at Chris. “Ohh also, can we get, I don’t know, maybe a to-go box of some sort that we can put some water in for the pup?” She nods and walks off while jotting it down in her little pad. She returns a few minutes later with all the check and drinks. 

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to twist your arm or anything,” he says while leaning over and scratching Dodger’s head. 

“Not at all, I just, unfortunately, have to drive home after this,” I say while shaking my head. “I normally cannot wait for this day to end, but today…meeting Dodger and I guess you..,” I smirk trying to make light of a tough sentence to put into words, “It really helped.”

“Well, I am just glad we found you.” 

“Me too,” I say giving his hand one more squeeze before we get up and make our way to the cars. 

_Leaving the shot of Jameson sitting on the table, untouched, but always present, unquestioned but simply knowing._


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (I want to experiment with a different perspective if its trash I’ll redo this chapter )

Thea had no idea why it was so hard to ghost this guy. It should be easy, they hung out for half a day a week ago. He should already have her out of his head, but no he still continues to call. 

“Ms. Mulligan I finished reading the chapter what should I do now?” Thea’s 3rd period reading support class was currently working on finishing their novel. She would typically read to them but her mind had been scattered all week. 

“Kay, why don’t you draw a picture of your favorite chapter so far on the smartboard?” Thea prompts, knowing that Kay loves to draw and she really is interested in the novel...even if she won’t admit it. 

“Can I listen to music, puhleaseee?” She spins around with a great big smile on her face. 

“As long as you don’t blast it and its not that Billie Eye Lash person,” Thea rolls her eyes with a smirk knowing what would follow. 

“Mully, you’re embarrassing yourself you know her name is Billie Eilish because I’ve stalked your Spotify playlist, right Kai?” Kai, who was too busy reading the next chapter to even look up when she responds, “Yeah Mully, we are currently working on one of those mixtapes for you so be prepared.” 

The nickname Thea fought for a good three months but finally caved when her co-workers started using it as well. As for the Spotify stalking, not surprised more impressed and she was now looking forward to the next mixtape they give her. 

Last semester, Thea assigned the class a project that required them to find a song to coincide with each chapter of their novel. The students also had to write one paragraph explaining why they choose each song. That was when the revolting started for about 20 minutes until Andrew, in the back of the class, had enough and shouted, “She is legit letting us listen to music all class period and write like 10 paragraphs for a week. The other students have to write an essay on like literary devices or something and they had to read the book all by themselves.” 

“Legit?” Kay announced shocked.

“Legit Kay, legit,” Thea sighs, “Also we have like 78 words on the word wall can we work on using one of those instead of ‘legit’?” 

“Bet.” Kai says with her hand in the air and at that point, Thea just puts her head down silently laughing. 

Her phone buzzed on her desk again, this time it was just a CNN update but the missed call was still staring her in the face. All Thea has felt since that night was guilt. She felt like she was cheating on Jamie and all they did was hug before getting in their own cars and driving away. The bubble burst though on the drive home when the waterworks wouldn’t stop and she had to pull over on the side of the road almost three times. 

And then Sunday morning, her phone rings and she watches as it goes to voicemail and then it vibrates again with a voicemail. She stares at her phone for a few more minutes before playing the message. 

_Hey Thea, I just wanted to call and check in on you. You never messaged me when you got home last night and I just wanted to make sure you were okay. Leaving West Point now and you were right I think I definitely made the guard’s day._ _I’m sure you are busy getting ready for the school day tomorrow but if you have a second to talk I’m around. Okay, take care now._

He called one more time that evening but no message. It was now Friday and Thea had five missed calls and two messages in total. She did not know how to process all of this and she had been burying herself in work trying to stay busy avoiding the topic. She did that with most things and she knew it wasn’t going to end well and that she was being selfish. So she picked up her phone and tried to type out a text, but then the bell rang and the class started to pack up. 

“Okay, guys I’ll see most of you in 7th and 8th for Math, make sure to have your homework notebook, hint, hint hint,” Thea says with a wink. She knew their anxiety would soar if they walked in not knowing about a homework check so she always made sure she casually mentioned something to them. Her co-teacher was not a fan of this, but her kids, her decision. 

Thea now had a prep period and then lunch to try and sort out all of her thoughts. She even had time to call Chris back, but she did not trust herself to keep her emotions in check, especially while at work. 

  
_Hey Chris, Sorry for the disappearing act. I’m still just trying to process everything and work has kept me occupied. Can we talk tonight? Text, call or even facetime if that’s easier.  
_ _Sorry again._

Chris’ phone finally vibrated in his pocket as he was walking out of a bagel shop in New York City. He was supposed to make his way to Boston to see his family after his trip upstate but that was sidetracked by some work stuff. 

His new movie, “Captain America: Civil War was being released in a few weeks and he had a few talk shows and then the Lower Manhattan premiere was on May 4th. He knew he was going to be in town for some time now and wanted to see Thea again. 

She just didn’t want to see him. 

He had no idea what he did wrong and wanted a chance to see her and explain that. So when she finally answered him back he wasn’t sure how to respond. He would prefer to talk in person but did not want to upset her or whatever else he may have done. He tried to call his brother for some advice but that call went to voicemail as well, but his mom picked up on the first ring. 

“Chris, honey you okay?” 

“Yeah Ma, I just needed a little advice and Scott didn’t answer,” he admits to his mother.

“Well, why would you call him before me? Does he give better advice or somethin’?” This was a rabbit hole Chris would very much like to avoid. 

“It’s about a girl Ma, he already knows most of the back story,” Chris sighs through the phone.

“Ahh, so this is about the girl you met on the hike, well more like Dodger found, who you had to call your brother about in the bathroom while on a date with her?” 

“Wait what? We weren’t on a date and wow did he really tell you everything?” Chris says in complete shock. “And let the record show that I called him when SHE was in the bathroom.”

“Of course he did, I’m his mother, he tells me everything” cue the eye roll. 

“Okay Ma, and yes I called Scott, obviously that was a mistake,” Chris chuckles “He apparently blabbed everything.” Chris still wasn’t sure why he called his brother when Thea went to the bathroom, he just was so happy for the first time in a while that he needed to tell someone.

“So this is the girl that you’re going to marry, huh?” His mother bluntly states, causing Chris to almost drop his phone. 

“What the fuck did Scott say? Who said anything about marriage? We talked for like four hours and she has been avoiding me all week.”

“Scott said you were going on and on about how you finally ‘found her’ which is why he called me 20 seconds after hanging up with you.” Thank goodness for the ballcap and the glasses or all of NYC would see the flushed cheeks of Christopher Evans. 

“Okay, can we circle back to that whole topic later? Or maybe after I have a word with my kid brother. How do I ask her to meet up with me tonight when she only wanted to talk on the phone? Is that too forward? Should I just say yes to the phone call?” Chris continued to ramble to his mother. 

“It can’t hurt to ask,” such a simple response and yet it was perfect. “Just mind your manners, you were raised better Christopher.”

“Thanks, Ma,” Chris says finally smiling because he has a plan. 

“And if you need to call anyone on this date, call me not your brother,” she chuckles on the phone. “Love you and let me know how it goes.”

“Love you too”

_Hey Thea, a phone call would be perfect unless you would want to meet up in person? I’m still in New York and would really like to see you again. If you wanted to meet in the city or someplace by you...whatever is easier._

Thea wanted to act like she was shocked by the message but she understood. Jamie and her relationship started out as long-distance, so when you have the opportunity to see someone in person you jump. 

She didn’t know if she was ready for all of this, but she also knew it wasn’t fair to Chris. They needed to talk and put all of their cards on the table.

_I would like to see you again too, but whatever is easier for you._

_Long Beach is about an hour train ride to the city, but not sure would be better for you with people and stuff._

_You could also come here and we could get some ice cream and take a walk on the boardwalk? If that doesn’t sound too cliche..._

_The bell is going to ring so no rush we can figure this out after school._

Thea finally stopped blowing up his phone by her overthinking and put her phone in her bag for the rest of the school day. 

The afternoon went by in a flash, Thea waited until she got into her car after school to look at her phone. 

_Not cliche at all, that sounds perfect. I can be to you by 7, just send me the address of the ice cream shop_

Thea forwarded the address and then made her way home. She had a few hours to kill before she would see Chris so she tried to busy herself with things to do to prevent the overthinking. 

Chris on the other head couldn’t stop the overthinking and the worst-case scenarios that played out in his head. He has so many things to worry about with the movie and all the press but he cannot get her beautiful smile out of his head. 

He just didn’t know what it was about her, everything about Thea just seemed authentic. She had been dealt such a tough hand that would make any person cold and distant, but she still wears her heart on her sleeve. Even Dodger could see her genuine soul and stepped in to defend her when we were on the mountain. Chris just wanted to get to know her better, he thought he might miss out on something unbelievable if he just walked away. He also understood that she was still so hurt and wanted to help her in any way that he could. 

Chris thought about that while driving down to the ice cream shop and pulling into the parking lot a few minutes early. He spotted Thea as she was laying down a blanket in the trunk of her Jeep. He could only see the back of her and he was glad she was wearing something comfy and casual. It made him feel better about his jeans and t-shirt that took him an hour to finally commit too. He parked his car and made his way over to her, he closed his truck door loudly and called her name so he didn’t startle her. She didn’t turn around, she was too busy struggling with her own nerves. She had been fixing this blanket for a good 10 minutes and trying to decide whether or not it was lame and if she should scrap the whole idea. She didn’t even have a clue that Chris was behind her for a few minutes before she actually turned around with a jump. 

“Sorry, I was trying so hard not to scare you but you didn’t respond when I called your name a few times,” stumbled with his words. 

Thea kept a hand over her heart trying to steady her breathing and when it was finally calmed she looked up to see Chris’ concerned expression. 

Thea couldn’t help but laugh, “Well you looked like the last time we met too, only I had a knife in my hand and yet you look more scared now.” 

And just like that the tension that had worried them both had broken as Thea walked over to give Chris a big hug. They made their way over to the line and ordered two sundaes and then head back to her car. 

“I figured we could sit here while we ate our ice cream and then head to the boardwalk, its a few minutes away but I didn’t want the sundaes to melt” 

Chris continues staring at his ice cream trying to find a way to ask the question that had been driving him crazy all week. He didn’t know how to phrase it without making the situation worse. 

Thea scoots back into the car and sits like a pretzel, “So let’s talk about it before the elephant in the room gets any bigger.” Thea used to be all about beating around the bush but after everything that happened, time is one thing you can never get back. 

“Did I do something to upset you? I have been trying to figure out why you didn’t answer and I am coming up short” Chris admits finally looking away from his ice cream. 

“You did nothing wrong and I don’t want to sound like an asshole when I say that this had nothing to do with you,” Thea says while running her fingers through her hair. Chris sits patiently giving her a second to collect her thoughts. 

“I want to explain this right, so please take everything I say with a grain of salt because I am bound to put my foot in my mouth” Thea sets the stage with a disclaimer because she is absolutely terrified of the direction this could go. 

“You know that feeling when you are exercising or playing a sport and your breaths are coming shorter and the tightness in your chest is growing? You can still breath but it’s a struggle and you cannot wait for it to subside? And then finally you stop and you catch your breath and the air in your lungs fills again and you know you are going to be okay?” Chris nods along to Thea’s analogy trying to see where she was going with this. 

Thea takes a second to collect her words again, “Chris, I have been trying to catch my breath for three years now and no outlet, no resource, nothing was helping. The panic attacks while I was awake and even when I was sleeping, I just couldn’t...” Thea tries to collect herself shaking the tears from eyes refusing to let them spill. “And then I ask Jamie for a sign that it’s okay for me to stop running and I turn around and there you were” Thea clears her throat again.

_“And Chris, I finally started breathing again.”_

“Then we hugged and I got in my car and started to drive away and all at once it was gone and my lungs were aching and I was terrified and lost all over again” Chris is not sure at what point he reached for her hand but he was gently squeezing it as Thea continued to shake her head. 

“Out of nowhere, I was angry at myself that I let this happen and how I was a fool for thinking I could be normal again.” Thea pulled her hand away, “I woke up to the text you sent me and then the guilt set in. I felt guilty being happy with you and wanting to answer you and then guilty because I was not being fair to you and then guilty because we only knew each other for a few hours and I was giving so much power to something that wasn’t real.” She swirls the melting ice cream in her lap, “and now I am just sad because sitting here with you right now with all these emotions I am breathing just fine.”

_“And I am scared of what will happen next.”_

Chris had no idea how to react to all of this, she had so many layers and so much going on and unintentionally he hurt her. Thea was right though this wasn’t about him but the fact that he was helping and hurting her at the same time was making his head spin. Nothing was sitting right with him and maybe ice cream wasn’t the best choice because his stomach was churning. 

“I don’t know what to say, the thought that I am causing you pain, it makes me sick. Why would you say this isn’t real though?”

“Chris,” Thea sighs “I don’t know, you’re you and I’m me and I am talking this Chris not that other guy so don’t jump to conclusions. I am filled with scars and a heart that may never work again. You are so sweet and caring and could be anywhere right now and yet you are here with me eating ice cream in my trunk. We only talked for one evening, it just doesn’t make sense.” 

“Isn’t that how all great stories start though, with a great evening that leads to many more?”

“Chris, the only thing I can offer you is a hand to hold and friendship, I don’t think I can handle much more and that's not fair to you.”

“Deal, sold, I’ll take it. Now let's head to the boardwalk before it gets too chilly” Chris says while taking the melted ice cream and tossing it. 

“Wait what?” Thea says completely taken back. 

“I am not done getting to know you and I have a feeling this will all be worth it,” Chris says with a smirk. 

“Chris, I really don’t…” Chris cut Thea off, “I’m an optimist so let’s just enjoy each other’s company, okay?” 

Thea nods and recommends that Chris should follow her back to her apartment building to leave his truck so that they can just walk from there to the boardwalk, parking was bound to be crazy on this warm spring night. When they finally park and head to the boardwalk, Chris, optimistically, grabs Thea’s hand and they start their walk with the breeze from the open pushing them along. 

Chris decides while looking at her windblown hair, that he is going to help her no matter what. She deserves so much happiness in this life, Chris made a silent promise to her that all of her hardest days were behind her. 

_Giving her hand an extra squeeze, Chris looks out into the distance and makes the same promise to the night sky that was watching over her._


End file.
